you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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