Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
