i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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