why didn't you poke me back
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I am naked and annoyed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
