and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
