i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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