I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
