So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Pants are for mortals
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
