So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
