The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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