only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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