I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
