I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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