i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
