Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Randomize
