maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
