I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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