Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
