ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
