Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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