He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
