dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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