i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
