i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
