mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
