i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
