bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
