Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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