handjob tips. give me some.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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