I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
