I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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