She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
