i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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