apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
