so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
