She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
