My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
