I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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