i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
