Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
