Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
