Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
