so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
