All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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