I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
