Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
