Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
