He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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