i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
they're like a gay fantastic four
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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