So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
