I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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