on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
