seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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