i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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