you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
