Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
