I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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