I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
